iPhone vs Android : Phone Wars


iPhone vs Android : Phone Wars
The immovable object meets the unstoppable force.

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{ Immovable object = iPhone & Unstoppable force = Android } 
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The inevitable article/post has been pending and now reinforced with popular demand.

:: Warning ! ::

The post is written by a Droid Fan, you have been warned

If you are an iSheep - then after going through this post I 'guaran-damn-tee' we're gonna be taking you out of the dark side and over to the Droid zone. 
If you have a friend who is thinking of switching to an iPhone - show them this post.
If you ever get tempted by the Dark side - just revisit this post and resist the iSheepness.

Get ready for this epic post.



Cue the Star Wars music....




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Chapter 1 : A New Hope !


On 29th June 2007, the world celebrates the launch of the storm trooper - a.k.a the iPhone by Apple (The Empire).

[for droid folks who think this is a toy - you are mistaken - this is the first iPhone]

Small -shiny -touch screen  (without a stylus) @ toy size which did it all and eliminated the keyboard. The phone industry revolutionized. New phone fans and cult 😈 following emerged. 

The Rebel Alliance - Android started in 2008 by Google - it was a year late on the scene but totally kick ass.






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Chapter 2 : The Empire Strikes Back


This cult following has a joining fees πŸ’Έ.  The Empire wants it's membership fees a.k.a the Apple Tax.
The device which as per John Ive - in a trance like seductive voice gets faster,smarter, smaller, redesigned from the inside out every year - with the same look since it was born in 2007.

The device is overpriced and the iSheep blindly follow paying unnecessary premium for a well polished pebble.

Not to mention the plethora of apps that are available free on Android and $0.99 on AppStore...why why why ? Then the Apple stupid purist feel they are performing a civic duty by paying the developer for it....lol !

How easy is it to download an app and install it on your iPhone - like never, we droids can do that and more - install apps region free too [apkpure]

The Rebel's laugh at this tax - its a free world !






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Chapter 3 : Return of the Jedi


The Storm Trooper have to be standard - the same since it was first created - that's how the dumb iSheep can recognize it.

4 icons tray and assorted box of Quality Street chocolates above has been the 'revolutionary' interface since 2007 - wow !



Now on to the Droidster -
Feast your eyes on this customization & launchers - you can almost - I mean almost - not see the same android screens ever ! Almost ! Neat and clean full screen wallpapers with no Quality Street chocolate icon disturbance.


Buzz Launcher or Themer recommended.


Yes iPhone guys, sadly no launchers - ever for you guys. bu-ha ha ha !





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Chapter 4 : The Force Awakens


Nope cant do that, don't know how to -even with a 64-bit 'used-less' processor on-board - which they don't know how to utilize. Since no parallel processes lesser RAMπŸ‘Ž - hence cheaper hardware and that equals to bloated pricing πŸ‘Ώ.....think about it.

For the Android - Multi-tasking has been the birth right. Its much beyond multi tasking - its multi window. Watch the glory of the Samsung S8 split screen.....its a beauty. 

Watch Youtube and read emails ? πŸ‘
Read emails and surf the net ? πŸ‘
Surf the net and do some scratch pad work ? πŸ‘







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Chapter 5 : Attack of the Clones


Storm Trooper (iPhone) 7 launches
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32GB: $649 
128GB: $749
256GB: $849

Awesome you get extra features in 128gb edition ? No sorry sir
And what about 256gb edition ? It's just all the same sir.


MicroSD pricing (per Amazon)
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32GB: $12.99
128GB: $43.99
256GB: $136.99

Do you now see the Apple Tax ?
Apple love to milk the cash cow and charge the iZombies $200 just because they can.

Btw Dual Sim again not gonna happen ever ! bu-ha ha ha !

Android lets you add extra memory upto 256gb on your very own from which ever market or online store you want to. Also add extra SIM from that new network which gives good free data and saves you from carrying two phones.






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Chapter 6 : The Phantom Menace
This is Fisher-Price game for a toddler. They are designed with kids in mind, its just not complex enough for those intellectual folks.

So is the iPhone or their most fav the iPad. Isnt it irritating as a parent to find your iphone battery and poor data plan all zapped in few hours by your Apple friendly baby.



The crazy ease with which a toddler can swipe through Youtube and play their own rhymes is a crime !

Its never too late, switch to a droid phone
but first




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Chapter 6 : The Force Awakens

You got swag when you own an Apple device. You start handling you precious paper weight covering it up in bubble wrap so your 'precious' doesn't get a scratch.

You love to do this - Place that phone on its belly and show off its boring back.


That's just dumb, you just over paid for a device which is baby compatible and no space left and you will feel inferior when the next one releases.


oh you dumbasses !








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Chapter 6 : The Last Jedi


If after five chapter you think that Android is supposed to be complex and for geeks only. You are wrong again Apple Fan.

Its much more and we dont mean sliding that costly paper weight into the Bose Docking Station.

We got awesome features like the DeX by Samsung for Samsung S8, hell ya geek out - but with class
btw - DeX lets you slide you phone onto the dock and utilize your phone like a pc.




We got Modular Phones like Moto Z
Use the slim form factor bare bone phone for regular use.
Slide the JBL Speaker, Hasselblad Camera or Battery Pack as and when required.

Feeling James Bondy yet ?
Btw we get to choose what design appeals to us, glass shell, rubber shell, glossy body etc. 
It's either designed in China and manufactured in China like the Xiaomi Mi Phone series, unlike designed in California and manufactured in China iPhones.

You got some gold to melt and phones to buy ? Get the Vertu

 -- The Rolls Royce of Phones --
starting cost $10,000 onwards
A British manufactured, luxury handmade phones and it also comes with a Butler service.





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Chapter 7 : Revenge of the Sith


We are quite sure that Apple phone division is still catching up on technology.

Like it just caught up with water proofing and NFC. πŸ‘Š
Wireless is still no where to be seen. πŸ‘Ž
Headphone jack removal is one most dumb ass moves ever btw to get waterproof. πŸ‘Ž
Ahem Stylus please ? πŸ‘Ž




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THE END




We now conclude the epic bashing of the iPhone.

Stay future proof - Stay with the Droid.





meanwhile.....in the other side of the galaxy






Comments

  1. Totally Nailed it!!!

    i-Phone is just a show off.

    and the best part was "meanwhile.....in the other side of the galaxy" Lol!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was thinking for an i-Phone, thanks for saving my money :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Even I was also thinking for I phone

    But Now I will go for Android atleast I can get themes not boring apple
    theme ... totaly waste of time and money ..

    Cost of and I phone 7 = 50,000
    in 50k I will buy an android phone + go for vaccation to bankok

    ReplyDelete
  4. Superb I think I just going to shove it on Iphone users face whenever they want a war

    ReplyDelete
  5. Makes me re think over my decision to buy an I phone.
    Though I have known some of these but an awesome way to put it across!

    ReplyDelete

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